Angels

Today during nursery I was talking with a friend and we started talking about where she went to high school and I found out she went to Box Elder...I asked her if she new my cute friend Leslie and she informed me that she had passed away about a month ago and I was in shock.

My heart is so heavy and so full tonight. Leslie and I met in 1998 at Flying J where we both worked. We became instant friends and have kept in touch through the years. She met and married a wonderful man named Jordan Luthi while she was working at Flying J and they were blessed with a beautiful daughter, LaurAnne Holly Luthi. Such a beautiful little girl who looks so much like her cute Mommy. I ran into Leslie right after I had Gracie in 1997 and Leslie was sooo excited I was able to actually have a baby on my own since she knew the struggles I had faced with my health. Lauren was about 5 when I ran into Leslie and she was such a beautiful little girl..reminded me so much of Leslie. Leslie informed me then that she had been having some health issues and had a port a cath put in to receive some heavy duty medication...I felt so bad for her! I couldn't hug her long enough. Well..years passed and we lost touch..so I googled her name not to long ago and found out she had recieved a kidney from her brother. A few months ago I decided to call her cute Mom and find out where she was! Well I called her Mom's house and her cute hubby picked up the phone and handed the phone straight over to Leslie and I was sooooooooooo excited to be able to finally talk to her! We talked for hours and hours and she filled me in on her health and what her poor body had been through. She had recently had a stroke and was having issues with what the stroke had done to her..the same issues I went through after having my stroke..numbness in the hand and arm...she was even having trouble talking. She also had suffered massive bleeding on the brain like I did. My heart went out to her. She said she had been diagnosed with Lupus which we all know is horrible and even deadly. She said she hoped she would live as long as she could so that LaurAnne would remember her. This is sooo hard for me to type right now...I guess it just hits so close to home with me and my health and having a daughter also. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about me dying and leaving Gracie bug here without a Mommy and it terrifies me! I know that Leslie isn't suffering anymore and is in the arms of her Heavenly Father and that is such a comfort to me, but I can't help but think what her cute daughter must be going through. I KNOW Leslie is her guardian angel and watching her every move...but my heart aches so badly right now. I really don't think this would have hit me so hard had I not been a mother.

Leslie and I have so many wonderful memories together. We had made a deal to get together as soon as she was feeling better and didn't have the swine flu..and apparently Heavenly Father had other plans for my cute Leslie. I know my life is better because it was blessed by such a beautiful, wonderful girl who has touched me beyond words simply by her example and her love. Life is so precious and can be taken from us sooo quickly and it is so important to let those around us know how much we love them before it is to late. I know this isn't the end and merely the beginning..but it is just sooo hard to let those go that you love. I hope sweet Leslie knows how much I love her and treasure her and anxiously await the day I get to throw my arms around her again. Luke looked at me tonight and asked why this has hit me so hard and all I can say is that my heart goes out to her daughter and hubby. I know what an amazing friend she has been to me in her short life. I remember how beautiful she looked the day she walked down the isle and became Mrs. Leslie Luthi. I remember how happy she was to marry Jordan and how excited she was to be a Mom. I wish I would have known when she died so I could have been there for her funeral. I feel like such a crappy friend. I can't believe I never got to give her that one last hug and tell her goodbye. I love you Leslie and I can't wait until we meet again....Love Always and Forever....Lisa