Christmas 2011

This year Christmas was a sick one:( Gracie bug got sick Christmas Eve morning...fever, bad cough, was just exhausted. I had a migraine Friday night, Saturday, Sunday...got a fever, sore throat...just felt exhausted. Went to my cute parents house for the usual Christmas Eve feast and games. My Dad was such a trooper and entertained Gracie so the adults could play games, headed home around 10 since we felt crappy and got Gracie to bed. Gracie was up all night coughing, my head hurt so bad and Daisy got sick too...just a cruddy night. Christmas morning Gracie woke up and didn't really seem to care Santa had even come. She felt lousy and so did I. Luke and I got really dizzy and could barely walk without falling Christmas morning and were worried about carbon monoxide even though our detectors weren't going off. Got back to my Mom's for Christmas breakfast, opened presents and headed back home feeling a tad better. Then we went to Luke's Dad's house and had dinner and opened presents there and Gracie got to finally play with her cute cousins for a few hours despite how crappy she felt. We took her home, put her to bed and I tried to fall asleep, but my head and throat hurt so bad...so sad since so much preperation goes into Christmas and I felt like it was all for nothing this year darn it! Gracie still has a bad cough and I would love to feel better soon. We are doing our usual New Year's Eve Party at the house, so I have my work cut out for me since our house looks like World War 4 has been through it! Gracie is one spoiled little girl and it was fun spoiling her! She has sooooo many fun toys. She got the cutest Doll House from Santa... I will post some pics. She got a darling desk so she can do crafts and what not on it, about 10 barbies, barbie cars, horses, tons of games, darling clothes, puzzles, books...she is soo spoiled and I am one lucky girl myself! Santa brought me an Ipad and the most beautiful bracelet. It is diamonds and sapphires since that is our anniversary stone...I got some adorable boots...can't wait to wear them! I hope Christmas was truly magical for everyone!

Marf

I searched and searched for the perfect Elf for Gracie since the one that comes with the Elf on the Shelf book gives me the creeps and I found such a cute one. I will have to post a pic so everyone can see it. When she opened it she said it's Marf! And I said Marf? He was wearing green so she explained to me that he is martian and elf..get it...Marf??? I tried to tell her his name is Christopher and she wasn't having any part of that, so Marf it is. Marf has become a HUGE part of this Christmas which I am grateful for since I can't seem to get in the Christmas spirit at all. Losing sweet Sadie last week and Millie two weeks before and Dusty in October has pretty much taken it's toll on me. Daisy has been so sad and hasn't eaten in a week:( Marf keeps finding the funnest spots to hide and Gracie loves searching for him every morning. That in itself is helping me get more in the spirit by seeing Christmas through her eyes! I hope everyone is well!

Sadie

My sweet Sadie...passed away yesterday. She has been the best dog we have ever had and truly is my best friend. She was 12 years old. She was diagnosed in July with bone cancer on her shoulder and the past five months the tumor grew so fast...she could barely walk and we knew it was time. Dr. Hillegas came to our house last night and put her to sleep on her pillow while I held her. My cute Mom came out to help with Gracie. Luke and I miss her so much. It already feels like forever since I saw and held her last. I do know she isn't hurting anymore which means everything to me. My biggest concern now is our last dog Daisy. She is so sad and lonely. She slept on Sadie's pillow last night and has been searching the house for her all morning. She just cries and it breaks my heart. I hope she will be with us for awhile. Three dogs in three months has pretty much killed me. I am filled with so much peace right now. I know that is my sweet Sadie and Heavenly Father letting me know it's going to be alright. I know Dusty and Millie and Sadie are out having the time of their lives..running..playing and pain free! And like I have said before..the only thing that gets me through times like this is knowing we will be together again someday! I know when my time comes I will have all of these sweet babies waiting for me and that makes me smile.

It hasn't really seemed like Christmas this year since we have had such sick puppies. I have got to somehow get in the spirit for Gracie and Daisy too. Thank you so much to all of my cute friends and family for their prayers, support and sweet words through this tough time. I miss my best friend so much. But somehow, I think she is closer than I could possibly imagine..so I am sure I will chat, cry, laugh, etc..with her often as I do with Millie and Dusty too. I hope this season is filled with love for everyone...

Millie

My cute, sweet, beautiful Millie passed away last Tuesday. We found out about two weeks ago she had a pinched nerve and started her on some meds that really helped for a few days and then we noticed her back legs weren't working so well, within a matter of days Millie could no longer walk and had stopped eating for the most part. I fed her eggs everyday which she ate but the last two days of her life she didn't eat anything. She had lost so much weight and was starting to pee blood. Luke and I decided it was best if we put her down. It broke my heart. I met Luke at the vet last Tuesday afternoon and when I walked in the lobby and saw Millie sitting by Luke, I still was questioning if we were making the right decision. When they picked Millie up to carry her back to start her IV, blood leaked out everywhere..I was shocked, but I also knew at that moment we were making the right decision. I have always known when the time came, I would be there for my babies, as painful as it might be to witness, the least thing I could do was be there for them when they needed me most. They led Luke and I to a room and brought Millie in with an IV in her little arm. They laid her on the counter in front of us and we had a few minutes to just hold her and love her. I wrapped my arms around her and told her how much I loved her and that we were going to be together forever. Dr. Hillegas came in and asked if we were sure this was what we wanted to do and I started crying and said I didn't know..she felt Millie's back leg and said the one leg had lost all sensation and she would never walk again and she felt we were making the right decision. I held onto Millie so tight and looked the other way while she put Millie to sleep. Millie was panting one minute and within seconds, she stopped panting and took her last breath and she was gone with a matter of about 5 seconds. They left Luke and I alone with Millie for a little while and we hugged each other. I truly felt a sense of peace after, but so sad and heartbroken without Millie. We took her home and buried her and when I brought her collar in the house, Daisy and Sadie sniffed it and Daisy cried all night. Broke my heart. I miss her kisses so much. I miss coming home from work everyday and having her greet me at the door. We have now lost two dogs in two months and I am ready for a break! I need Sadie and Daisy to stay as healthy as they can! Sadie's tumor is growing so fast and all we can do is enjoy the time we do have with her and focus on the fact that we will be together again someday! I had a dear friend tell me..don't think of it as putting Millie down..you sent her up to a place most of us wish we could be!! I loved that!

I have amazing friends and I am truly blessed. The friends whom I thought I was closest to, sadly became more distant. I don't understand if they didn't know what to say..but silence hurts more than anything. The friends whom I didn't think would say much came to my side instantly. I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers at work from some friends. I am just so blessed. I have a darling friend who had Luke, Gracie and I come over with some friends and have a fun pizza/game night Saturday night to get our minds off of life and it was a blast and very much needed! I just can't express how grateful I am for all of the countless blessing I am continued to be blessed with on a daily basis.

Thanksgiving was nice. Went to my parents and Matt and the kids came up and it was fun to see everyone and play games. My heart just wasn't in it this year due to Millie..but it was great to be surrounded by those I love. I hope that everyone was able to reflect on all of the wonderful things in their lives they are so thankful for. I know I have to many to list! I love you all!

Date Night

Last night was awesome. Luke called me at work and told me he was taking me out to dinner which I loved so we dropped Gracie off at one of my besties houses and went to the Coppermill! It was delicious and the best part was being alone for a few hours for dinner! Pricless! So grateful for friends! Gracie got to have Mickey Mouse pancakes, make a turkey, play with her dogs...perfect night!

My Sweet Millie

This post is for all of my cute, sweet friends who have asked me to keep you updated on Millie. She had her surgery a few weeks ago and was doing really great despite the cancer. She had a bad bladder infection so they put her on some heavy duty antibiotics which seemed to do the trick..well Friday after work I noticed she was shaking a little..Saturday, Sunday, yesterday she hasn't eaten any dog food. She will eat eggs but not dog food. She is getting so weak and her hind legs seem to be giving out. When she lays down it's all she has just to stand back up and this has all happened in three days. I called the vet tech and she said it is probably the cancer progressing faster than we thought it would..but I don't think that is it. I called her again this morning and they are going to see Millie today at 430. I don't think the cancer would take her this fast considering it is round cell tumor which is slow growing. I am wondering if the bladder infection is back or if she might have an infection in her throat where he removed 80% of that tumor...I just hope and pray that whatever it is they can make her feel better and it isn't anything life threatening. I am so worried for her! I feel like I can't say enough prayers right now. This is the hard part of having 4 amazing dogs that are the same age..one by one they are fading quickly and it breaks my heart! But I am truly grateful for all of the amazing, happy wonderful memories we have made over the years and hope there are many more to come!

Costumes

Just dropped Gracie off to school in her cute Chicken costume..I love Halloween! She was so excited this morning to get dressed up! We have been very fortunate with costumes this year. My cute Mom got her a witch costume not knowing about the chicken costume and my cute friend Steph at work borrowed her an adorable zebra costume. Monday night I think we will do the zebra costume so she stays warm!

Millie sure has been in my thoughts..we found out she has Round Cell Tumor which isn't as bad as squamous cell which is great news..I just hope and pray it is slow growing so we have more time with her! I hate cancer! I hate that 2 of my 3 babies has cancer and I can't do anything about it! I hate feeling so helpless!

Tomorrow is the diabetes doc for me. Every three months sure does come quick. Just hoping and praying for good news. I hope everyone is loving this fun holiday and all that comes with it!

Millie's Results

My sweet Millie had the scope done this morning. It was so hard dropping her off. Dr. Israelsen called and said he found a tumor in her airway about 1 inch in diameter which breaks my heart. He was able to remove about 80% of it but he thinks it is squamous Cell carcinoma which means it will grow back fast. It is in the worst location possible. He said we could do surgery where they would cut through the neck to get to it but it is a big deal, so we have decided to just keep her comfortable. He is putting her on the same drugs that Sadie is on for her tumor called CAS options and they have been so great for Sadie. They have bought her good, quality time with us and I hope they can do the same for Millie. I am just in shock. I hate this. Dusty passed away 3 weeks ago today and it is all happening so fast. Sadie turns 12 today! My cute sweet Sadie! I am just so blessed to have had 4 healthy dogs live to be 12! I just hate feeling so helpless. Thank you so much for all of the thoughts and prayers. Love to all.

Millie

Our sweet Millie has been having a hard time lately..we noticed she lost her bark about 3 or 4 months ago and since then has been coughing horribly and struggling to breathe..Luke took her to the vet a few weeks ago and he thinks she has Laryngeal Paralysis but it could also be a tumor and the only way to know is to do a scope..we were hoping to put it off for a few months but it has gotten progressively worse the past little while that I scheduled her for Monday and I am terrified for the results. I am so grateful to have had our sweet babies as long as we have but losing Dusty a few weeks ago is making everything seem to real now...I feel like a part of me died when he died..Sadie turns 12 on Monday and Millie and Daisy turn 12 in March. I am just hoping for the best! Please keep her in your prayers for me! Thank you!!!

Volunteer Mommy

I was a volunteer Mommy today at Gracie's preschool. It was fun to see her at school all day. I have to say, I have a great daughter! She is so smart and didn't get into any trouble! Such a cutie. I could have sat and watched her all day! I am proud to say she is mine! Miss Marci asked me if I would volunteer twice next week too! We missed Annie Saturday night since Gracie was sick but went last night for Family Home Evening. Darling play. Luke got all dressed up and looked so handsome! Such a great night! Tonight he is fixing dinner! I am one lucky gal! We got to watch Eddie one last time Saturday night before they move to Missippi. We sure will miss that dog! Such a sweet boy! Hope everyone is well and loving this fall weather!

Annie

I am loving this weather! Thunderstorms and rain last night and this morning. Fall is in the air! Doing laundry, vacuuming..trying to get the house clean while Luke and Gracie are at a show and then tonight we are going to Annie! I hope Gracie loves it! Luke and I are excited to take her to it! It has awesome reviews too! We get to watch Eddie tonight while Paul and Bobbie are out of town..things are good! I hope everyone is doing great!

Last night I went out with my cute friends Shauna and Lori to Cafe Sabor and then we went and saw "I Don't Know How She Does It"...it was cute. So good to get out with the girls every now and then!

Thank You

I just wanted to thank everyone for all of their thoughts and prayers this past week concerning Luke. He is doing much better now. Finally off of the IV and onto oral antibiotics! Infection is basically gone and now it's a matter of keeping it gone and getting his strength back. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people! Thank you!!!!

Footprints

This is one of my favorite poems and the past few weeks I truly felt like I have been carried. So grateful for family, friends and for my Savior.


Footprints in the Sand


One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”

6 days later..

Here I sit. 10:52 pm, 6 days later..I am eating a twix brownie and yes..it is still soft!!!!!!! These are by far, hands down the most amazing brownies I have ever eaten and I don't even like chocolate!!!!!!!!!!! Yum, Yum, Yum. ok..now time for some spinach dip..why not..already ruined the diet for the night;)

Twix Caramel Brownies

Twix Caramel Brownies

Yield: 24 brownies

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 35-40 minutes
Ingredients:

1 cup (2 sticks) butter
2 cups granulated sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 large eggs
3/4 cup cocoa
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups chopped Twix candy bars
1/3 cup caramel ice cream topping
Directions:

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9 x 13 pan with cooking spray. Set aside.

2. Place butter in medium saucepan on the stove. Heat over medium heat until butter is melted. Remove from heat and stir in sugar and vanilla extract. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well with spoon after each addition. Add cocoa; stir until well blended. Add flour, baking powder and salt; stir until combined. Stir in Twix candy bar chunks. Pour batter into prepared pan.

3. Drizzle caramel evenly over the brownies. Using a toothpick, swirl caramel into brownies. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until brownies begin to pull away from sides of pan and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Cool brownies completely in pan on a wire rack. Once cool, cut into squares and serve.


OR you can cheat like me and just use a boxed brownie mix and throw in some caramel topping and a bunch of chopped up twix bars. DELISH!!!!!!

Clean Fest

Today I had the day off for Pioneer Day..so Gracie and I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned! Got the kitchen scrubbed down...about 10 loads of laundry...towels...sheets...clothes...2 bathrooms cleaned and scrubbed..floors vacuumed and steamed..about 10 sacks of garbage taken out..coupons cut and organized..Gracie has been obsessed with Garfield lately and wanted lasagna...so I made it and it is in the oven...the day has zoomed by and I have loved making the house cleaner and spending some time with my Gracie bug and hounds! Yea for days off!!!!! Yea!

Life is Good!!!

Summer is in full swing and already ending quickly! I do have to say..fall is my favorite season and I am so ready for the cooler temps! Our trees are growing and they look awesome! Luke's peas in the garden were delicious too! Can't wait until our beans and squash are done!

My little Gracie bug is turning 4 on Friday and I can't believe that much time has already passed! She is so excited for her big day! Sadie is doing awesome! Drugs are sure helping her out and I am so grateful!

Not much to report besides Life is Good!!!

So Grateful...

I had to take a minute and express my gratitude for my Savior. I know he sure has been extra close to me lately. I went to my cute nephew's baptism a week ago and he was given the gift of the Holy Ghost. Something I have had since I was 8, but realized then that it is something I don't ask for...ever...well, that night I went home and I prayed so hard...I prayed that I would have the Holy Ghost with me and asked for comfort and peace regarding my sweet Sadie..instantly I felt better. I went about 5 days barely eating..not even wanting to leave the house. Feeling guilty leaving Sadie's side..I just instantly felt better and to this day I still feel comforted and I am so grateful for that. We put Sadie on some cancer meds that help kill the blood supply to the tumor in hopes that it will buy her some time and the vet also put her on an anti-inflammatory in addition to the pain pills and it has made a HUGE difference. She seems her normal self besides the limp. I am just so blessed that we have this extra time with her and that she seems to be feeling good! One day at a time...and things are good! I just hope it stays this way for awhile. A long while:) Thinking positive..life is too short not too..I am so grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the opportunity we will have to be with our cute pets in the next life if we live righteously...I could go on all night.

Today on my way to work I had just picked up a Birthday cake and was following a guy on a motorcycle that was making a left hand turn and lost control on some loose gravel. He was in shorts and a t-shirt and no helmet and had just come from giving blood. Here is the shocker, I was right behind him so I ran to him to see what I could do and nobody even stopped! His poor arm got eaten by the road and I couldn't tell if he hit his head..he had just given blood so I think he was light headed too...he was embarrassed and I just felt so helpless. I so don't like being the 1st responder on a wreck! That is 2 in 2 months. I am ready to be done with that. Just grateful I did stop. Such a nice guy!

I am off to cut a massive pile of coupons that have been awaiting me for quite some time now. I hope this finds everyone well. Thanks for all of the prayers. I know they have been a huge help. It's funny..in times when it seems like the world is coming to an end, the friends you think you are closest too..seem to be more distant than ever and the people you aren't as close to...come and wrap their arms around you..I am so grateful to those that have gone out on a limb to comfort me through this!

Sadie

I am sitting here at work so full of emotions right now. My sweet Sadie has been limping really bad for a few weeks so Luke took her to the vet today and we found out it is because of a huge cancerous tumor. We aren't sure how much time we have left with her and we are just trying to keep her comfortable. I sit here with tears streaming down my face. I love that sweet dog more than I can possible express. She came into our lives on April 24th 2001. SHe was a year and a half then. She has brought so much joy into our lives. She quickly became my best friend.

Luke and I didn't think we would ever be able to have a baby, so our dogs have been our kids for so long. They are such a huge part of our lives. I feel bad for those who don't get to experience the love and joy they truly bring to a person's life.

The thought of not having her in my life terrifies me. She has just always been there for me. When I cry, she is there to lick my tears. When my day has been bad she is always there to curl up next to me and make me feel loved. She is always making me smile. My day is not complete without loves from my cute Sadie. She can sense when I don't feel good and always makes me feel better. I want so badly for Gracie bug to remember what a special dog she is. I just want to fix her! Make her better! I have no doubt in mind that we will all be together again someday, but this part is so incredibly hard. I just need lots of prayers, friends and love right now. THanks for listening.

First Ever Pedi!!

So...apparently my blogging friends don't dutch oven..because I didn't have much of a turn out on recipes:( Work however provided me with some amazing ones I can't wait to try! This next week I am so excited to report that my cute friend Bobbie invited me to go get lunch and pedi's! I have never had one before, so I am kind of nervous. I have had plenty of manicure's which I didn't care for, so hopefully this will be better! Can't wait to show these cute piggies off!

Tonight Gracie and I took Luke to Texas Roadhouse for Father's Day so he could have a ribeye and he loved it! Then we went and walked around Summerfest which was fun to browse around. Always fun running into old friends.

This Friday I have the dentist which I am not looking forward to, but I will just focus on my Saturday pedi date! Wahoo! I will return and report:)

Dutch Oven Recipes

Insert here.

Summer & Dutch Oven Recipes

I feel like Summer is finally here...at least for a day or two. I know with the flooding the rain is not good, but I am a rain girl! I wish it would rain every day! I love the cooler temps! Everything is still so green too! With all the medications I am on for diabetes..I can't spend much time in the sun since I instantly get burned and I over heat way to fast. Summer for me usually means a daily headache from the heat, so I am truly grateful for the cooler temps we have had thus far!

Luke, Gracie and I went to a friend's house Saturday night for a huge cook out and it was a blast! Delicious food..great company and the kids loved every minute of it! I even had smores! I haven't had them in years! Which made me want a fire pit in our yard since we live in the middle of nowhere, so Luke is going to build us a big pit! I am thinking Dutch Oven cooking is in the near future...so I am on the roundup for some amazing dutch oven recipes! So send them my way if you have favorites!

Our garden looks awesome! Our peas are about 6 inches tall and everything is in full bloom! Including my allergies lol. I hope everyone is enjoying the summer!

Leroy Marion Grace

So just went I thought the blogging world had hit a dead end..so much has happened lately that I feel I need to post. On Monday, May 30th Luke, Gracie and I were traveling to Logan for a Memorial Day Barbecue at my brother Mark's house, when we saw a SUV towing a trailer full of wood coming towards us that was totally out of control. Luke looked at me and said that is an accident waiting to happen. The trailer was fishtailing so bad and there was no sign of the driver slowing down at all. Luke continued to watch him in the rear view mirror and within seconds Luke said there it goes! We flipped around and were some of the first on the scene which was horrific. There were 5 people in the SUV. 4 of them made it out, 3 of the 4 with bad head injuries, a 7 year old girl who walked away without a scratch, and then..trapped in the bottom of the vehicle was a 94 year old man who had lost consciousness from his head hitting the roof since it rolled several times. I can't get that picture out of my head. He had a pulse, but was pretty much gone. His grand daughter who seemed to be about my age kept talking to him, telling him he was going to be ok and to hang in there....a bunch of people were able to get him out of the back and I knew I was going to have to do CPR, but the grand daughter hopped right in and tried CPR but it wasn't working. It seemed like an eternity before ambulances showed up. When they started doing chest compressions this sweet old man just started throwing up his insides...he never came to. Life flight came and he died when he got to the hospital. What a cute man..I wish I would have had the opportunity to meet him. It is so sad how fast it can all be taken away so quickly. Being 94 I am sure he lived an amazing life...it's just this feeling of helplessness that is so horrible. It was almost a full week before I could fall asleep without seeing his face trapped him that vehicle. My heart goes out to that family.

Blogging Rut

I am thinking I am done with the blogging world. You ever have those days, weeks, months or even years you feel like you are talking to only yourself? THat's pretty much where I am at. I figure I might as well just start an online journal. I hope this finds everyone happy and healthy. Love to all.

Park City w/Mom;)

So this past weekend was my annual Park City trip with my cute Mom where we shop til we drop! Good food, great shopping and memories to last a lifetime! The condo was gorgeous..I am obsessed with the Food Network since I don't have it at home, so any second we were at the condo we were watching the food network and playing cards! My Mom and I have been doing this trip for over a decade now and look forward to it every year! It's so nice to just get away from life for a few days and spend it with my idol. It's funny, even after knowing my cute Mom my entire life, I continue to find out new things every time we go.

Yesterday was such an awesome day. Luke and I had to teach the Marriage and Family Relations class and out topic was the healing power of forgiveness in your marriage. When we first got the topic we were both terrified. It is a subject that Luke and I have struggled with throughout our marriage and the lesson couldn't have gone better. I felt things yesterday I haven't felt since Luke and I first got married. It was incredible hearing couples talk about how they work through their differences and learn to forgive each other. I truly feel like this lesson was just what we needed! Awesome day! Then we went to my parents for Sunday dinner and they surprised Gracie with a bike! We took the other camera and I haven't pulled the pics of that one..but I will post soon. She loved it! She is getting so big and she is such a great kid. Yesterday in sacrament we were surrounded by out of control kids. I lose so much respect for parents that don't control their kids and let them be as loud as they want in sacrament or let them sit there and cry...Gracie was so good. Didn't make a peep. I just feel like the luckiest girl in the world!

For Mother's Day we went and took flowers up to Luke's sweet Mom. I can't wait for the day when I can throw my arms around this beautiful woman! So grateful for her!

My cute Sadie has laryngeal paralysis and on Saturday I think we took our last walk:( She could barely make it home..I hate to see them get old, but on the other hand I am so grateful I have had the opportunity to see them get old. I am just praying she and the rest of my cute hounds still have plenty of good time left in them. My Mom says...a teaspoon at a time. I hope everyone is doing great!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day for me for so many years was such a horrible day. Not because I have the most AMAZING Mom on the planet and I love her more than anything, it was the fact that Luke and I had been married a few years and I was so baby hungry, all of my friends were having babies and I couldn't have one. Mother's Day just became this HUGE reminder that I wasn't a mother and never would be. In church on Mother's Day they would pass out flowers to all of the mother's and of course I was ALWAYS over looked since I wasn't a mother. Year's passed and each year got harder and harder..so many friends, everyone getting pregnant and still, because of diabetes and my health, I was told to never get pregnant. Luke and I tried to adopt for so many years with no luck until we thought we were getting a brand new little girl from Canada, but at the last minute that fell through which was heart wrenching. After 9 years of this, I decided I was going to do whatever it took to be a mother. I wanted a baby that bad, so to make a long story short..my miracle was born on July 22, 2007. And for the first time, I finally got a flower the following year in church. Amazing how good that one small flower can make someone feel...

Gracie sure does test my patience sometimes, but it is amazing how fast you can fall in love with something so small and so precious. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I fell in love with that little peanut growing inside of me. And from the moment I laid eyes on her, I was just smitten! Such a beautiful, perfect little sweetheart and she was all mine, finally making me a Mommy! I spend so much time staring at her. She truly is my life. I have to keep pinching myself because it all feels like a dream I am going to wake up from. How in the world did I get so lucky? I knew from the second I had her, that she would be my last seeing how I wouldn't make it through another pregnancy, so each time I would put away the 3 month clothes, the 6 month clothes, I felt like a part of me died...I wanted so badly to have one more, just so she would have a sibling..and in case anything ever happened to Luke and I, that she wouldn't be alone, but I still have to focus on the fact that we were blessed with her!!! I wish I could have seen a 2nd child roll over, crawl, walk..but I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father for blessing my life with the most amazing little girl! Each day it seems like she is learning something new and each day I fall more in love with that little Gracie bug. And now..for Mother's Day...I can't think of anything greater than the blessing of being a Mom:) I love you Gracie!!!

Mommies & Muffins

Today at Gracie's preschool they had "Mommies and Muffins" Day. It was so cute. We had muffins and juice and the preschool was decorated so cute for all of the Mommies. There were flowers on the tables..then the kids made each mommy a beautiful book mark that I will treasure forever! I need to start taking pics so you guys can see how cute this little girl of mine is! Gracie has made a close friend this year in school named Oakley. He is so cute. He had to sit next to her today at the table. I am sad he is going to kindergarden next year since Gracie has one more year in preschool, but I am sure there are going to be many more friends in the near future:) I am one lucky Mommy!!!

Easter

This past weekend has been fun and filled with family! Friday night after work I met my whole family..Matt, Amy and their kids even and we went out to eat! So much fun seeing them since it only happens a few times a year! Saturday morning I woke up early and walked the hounds..it was beautiful! Then Luke and I took Gracie to the Deweyville Easter egg hunt which was a blast. Then we went back over to my parent's house in Logan and had another Easter egg hunt at their house and then had a fabulous lunch and I got to spend the afternoon chatting with my cute sister in law.

Gracie looked beautiful in her new Easter Dress..I will have to get pics on here! Yesterday church was amazing. I felt like it was all for me yesterday. The lessons hit really hard and touched so close to home. I feel like Heavenly Father knew what struggles I have been facing and the lessons yesterday just hit the spot:) Luke gave me a beautiful Easter Lily...It was just a perfect day! I hope everyone's Easter was as special as mine.

Red & White Pasta Bake

This is the easiest recipe you will ever make! Super easy and a winner every time!



4 cups uncooked pasta (I like Penne)

1 15 oz. jar alfredo sauce

1 24. oz jar marinara sauce

2 cups shredded mozzarella

1 cup shredded parmesan cheese



Preheat oven to 350. Boil the pasta, drain, then add the sauces and the mozzarella cheese and mix until incorporated. Pour into a greased 9x13 pan and bake for 20-25 minutes until bubbly, then add the cup of parmesan on top and cook for 5 more minutes. Pair with some garlic bread and enjoy!!!!!!!



.

Nancy Law

Tonight I went to the viewing of a very special lady. Nancy Law was my violin teacher all growing up and such a HUGE inspiration to me. She helped mold me into the violist that I am today, and I owe so much to her. She is so talented and always inspired me to not only be a better violinist, but to be a better person. She leaves behind a darling husband and 4 beautiful kids. I got to talk to Seth (her son) tonight for a little while before the viewing...we have been friends long before Nancy became my teacher. He was telling me that his sister had her baby the day before Nancy passed away and she never had the opportunity to meet this new baby. I am so grateful for eternal families. I know without a shadow of a doubt Nancy will be watching over her cute family and all of her grand kids. I am so blessed and grateful for the knowledge I have of the gospel and the Plan of Salvation. The only thing that helps me through these tough times is focusing on eternal families. I believe that those that have already passed on are so much closer to us than we realize. So many times I feel my grandparents or my uncle Randy in the car with me when I am driving to or from work...

This world has lost such an amazing woman. My thoughts and prayers go out to the Law family at this time. Love to all.

Busy, Busy, Busy!

Things have been so crazy lately! Work has been the busiest since I have worked there..lots of changes are taking place and it will be good when everything is in place! My cute parents are home from St. George. I can't wait to celebrate my cute Mom's birthday when we go over to their house on Sunday. It will be fun to get back in the habit of family dinner's at Mom's on Sundays. I think they will always goes to St. George now for the winter, but it is a good move for them. My Mom said my Dad's arthritis was so good there. He was actually able to go hiking with Mark! It's good for them to get away from things too and just enjoy themselves!

My cute Sadie has been really struggling when she breathes so we finally took her in and the doctor seems to think she has Laryngeal Paralysis...we are trying different meds for the moment, I just hate to have her go through anything! At her age I just want her to enjoy life! And Daisy is having a heck of time with that darn arm since her surgery. The arthritis sure has settled in and no drugs are helping her...hopefully something will help soon!

I was truly blessed this past week and got to see my 2 favorite singers! Bon Jovi Tuesday night with one of my besties...Shalon was a way fun date and it is a night we will never forget. Great seats, amazing concert...awesome night! Then Saturday night I went and saw my cute John Allred before he moves to LA with my cute friends Amy and Alex and we had a blast..such a great concert with 3 amazing opening bands! I am so glad I have such a great hubby that let's me get out and play once in awhile:)

Spring is in the air! I think we hit 65 today which was perfect! I could handle that year round! Tomorrow is Mom's bday, Saturday is my cute Father in laws bday..oh and I am so excited..we are getting Eddie for the weekend! That is my friend Paul's yellow lab he just adopted. Eddie is 12 and you would never guess it! I am excited for him to come play with my babies!

I don't know whether I am coming or going! Tonight Gracie and I painted toenails! She picked bright red for me and pink with purple glitter for her...we are feeling more spring now:) I hope everyone is great! Love you!!

Happy Birthday Millie, Daisy & Chance!!

Today was the big #11 for Millie and Daisy and if we still had our sweet Chance he would be 13! We only had Chance for about a year. We got him as a puppy and he had grand mal seizures that were so bad he died. He was such a great dog and I can't wait to see him again! In 2000 my Mom took me shopping and we ran into a Petsmart in Ogden and there was a shelter there that had a few puppies in a cage so my Mom had me hold one and the next thing I knew we were on our way home with Millie and Daisy who just happen to be born the same day Chance was! They have been such a great addition to our family! I can't believe they are 11! I have no concept of time the older I get! I love you guys!!

Tonight was Luke's work party at Maddox which was fabulous. Fun to see the crew he works with and talk with them! So proud of him for the hard work he does do to help provide for our family. It sounds like this year will continue to be slow due to the economy but I am hoping 2012 will be great for Vulcraft and it's employees!

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day and I got Gracie a cute outfit for school...have I mentioned how I took for granted being a kid, the only girl, and spoiled!!!! If I could go back I would treasure every second of my growing up years that I rushed away so fast! Happy St. Patrick's everyone!!!

Home & Garden Show & Happy Endings!

The Home and Garden Show is officially over....Phew!!! Tons of work are put into this event and then it is all over in 2 huge days. It was a huge success and I feel honored to be a part of such an amazing team that put it all together! Before I know it we will be getting ready to start on it again for next year.

This year the Cache Humane Society was there and they brought in animals to be adopted which was also a great success. I fell in love with a beautiful 11 year old lab named Eddie and I just found out our cute Q92 DJ is adopting him tomorrow! I am so excited!! I am going to have to go visit him! I can't believe in 2 short days I am attached like I am to him, but that tells you just how special he is! I LOVE happy endings!

We spent most of the night cleaning up the event so I was so ready to fall asleep and lay low today which I did. Luke took Gracie to Disney on Ice while I took it easy and then went to dinner with Mark:) I have such a great time with him. We talked for hours. He has always been one of my bestest friends and I am so lucky to be his sister! I am already looking forward to our next game night!

The weather has been gorgeous and I am loving the time change so that it stays lighter later. That means I get to walk the dogs after work now! Wahoo! I hope everyone has a great week and a Happy St. Patrick's Day! Love to all!!!

Gracie

I just tucked Gracie in and decided to lay in bed with her and just hold her tonight. My heart is so full. I love that little girl more than anything. I started crying telling her how much I love her and just what she means to me and she was so cute. She wiped away my tears and put her hands on my cheeks and just said I love you Mom, you are my best friend. Those words touched me so deep. I can't express how amazing it feels to actually have that little girl here, in my arms. Luke and I waited so long to get that little miracle here and I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing my life with such a beautiful, strong, amazing little spirit whom I learn from everyday. I have been so worried about my cute Sadie lately...her breathing hasn't been great and she is getting older and Gracie is so sweet..she just pats my back or puts her arm around me and tells me Sadie is going to be just fine, and it is amazing what comfort that small gesture brings me. I would give ANYTHING to be able to have one more, but know that it isn't possible in this life and I am soooo truly blessed to have my little Gracie. Luke has been sick so I went to the doctor with him yesterday and he has a kidney stone that is causing him to bleed like crazy and today Gracie asked me if we could put a bandaid on Daddy and I told her you can't put a bandaid where Daddy hurts so she started telling me Daddy's pee pee has an owie...how do you not start laughing at that...oh that little girl truly is the light of my life. I LOVE YOU GRACIE BUG!!!!

Good News!

So I went to the eye doctor today...the most amazing eye doctor. He spent lots of time with me and said that the bleeding and leakage that was behind my eyes from when I had Gracie has stopped completely which is so fabulous! I had massive bleeding on the brain and lots of the blood and fluid from that leaked behind my eyes and we never knew if it would go away and it has finally! I am so excited! My vision hadn't changed much either. He said my vision has stayed almost the same for the past 8 years which is really rare for a diabetic and wants me to go see a cornea specialist in Idaho Falls for Lasik! Best news ever! Just a great day and now I am off to go spend the night with some of my bestest friends! Wahoo! Hope everyone is doing great!

Daisy & Sadie

Yesterday I had the opportunity to walk the hounds and it was great. Beautiful day...Daisy and Millie are still recovering from surgeries a few months prior, but are doing great. Well, today after church it was too beautiful to not go on another walk, so we went. Halfway down the road I noticed Daisy was really struggling. Since she had that massive lipoma removed from her arm/chest she limps horribly. The vet said she would most likely have massive arthritis after the surgery, and she does. It broke my heart, but I had to bring her back home and continue the walk without her. I hate to see them get old! But on the same token, so grateful I have been able to see them get old! My sweet Sadie is having a rough time too...it sounds like she is getting water in her lungs. I have thought for awhile now she has congestive heart failure..I know she is 11 1/2 almost and it happens when they are old, but it breaks my heart! We really don't want to take her to the vet at this point, since they want to run 100's of tests...we just want them to enjoy the time they do have left. Millie and Daisy turn 11 next month and the vet figured Dusty was older than 11 when he had surgery last February, but we can't be sure. It has been so fun having them all close to the same age, but I am terrified of what lies ahead...I just have to try so hard and focus on living for today and not worrying about tomorrow. Easier said than done! I hope all is well with everyone!

Feeling Good!!!

Last Saturday I decided to do the unthinkable...and get my hair done...really different. For those of you that know me, know that I have always been blonde, besides the few times I thought I needed to try something wild. Well I went and told Lisa (the hair genius) that I needed something different. I am obsessed with long hair. Love it. Always have, always will, but....I also feel like I was starting to look like a polygamist, so I told her I needed a change! I will have to post pics..I just haven't taken any yet. She took off a ton. I have layers everywhere! My hair is really dark, but we did lighter highlights on top and I now have bangs too! I thought for sure 1993 would be calling me asking for the bangs back..but I have never had so many compliments in my life on this hair! I am loving it! And since it is darker, for some reason people seem to think I have lost weight! Why didn't I do this sooner? Love, Love, Love it!!! Nothing makes me feel better than getting my hair done:)

Easiest, Bestest, Favoritest, Softest Sugar Cookies Ever!!!!

Only because I love you....am I going to share with you my favoritest recipe ever! For those of you who live around an Old Grist Mill..these seem identical to me:)



3 1/4 C. Flour

1 tsp. Soda

1/2 tsp. Salt

1 1/4 C. Sugar

1 Egg

1 tsp. Vanilla

1/2 C. melted Butter or Margerine

1/2 c. Sour Cream



Mix Flour, Soda & Salt in large bowl. Mix everything else in another bowl and add to the dry mixture. Roll out and cut into desired shapes. Put on greased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 7-9 minutes. The second they start looking golden around the edges, pull them out!



I let them cool and always ice them with a mixture of powdered sugar, almond extract, a few tablespoons of milk and a teaspoon of soft butter. I get sooo many requests for these cookies! Perfect for Valentine's or any day of the week! Enjoy!!!

New Project...and a broken heart...

So me and some of my bestest friends from high school are putting our heads together and coming up with some fabulous recipes on Facebook...I can't wait until we have a bunch of recipes on there. It has been so fun reconnecting and I can't wait to see where this venture takes us. I will keep you all posted.

Things have been extremely rough lately. We had someone drop a beautiful dog off to us and we just couldn't keep it and it actually ran off, but I had to call the pound to clear my mind and sure enough he was there. I wanted so bad to rescue him. I prayed so hard and the night before they put him down I called the pound and they said a rescue was planning on coming to get him the next day and I never called back. I wanted to call back, but all the cute people I work with kept saying just hope for the best, so I did. Gracie and I named him Oliver. She keeps asking where All of you is...that is what she calls him lol.

On Saturday one of my best friends had to put her cute Jake of 12 1/2 years to sleep. He is such a cute dog. A big beautiful black lab whom I have always thought of as one of my own. He got really sick this past week and they took him to the vet and found out his lungs were full of cancer and he was suffocating to death so they had no choice. The saddest part is he left behind his best friend Charli. She knows he is gone and I am sure her heart is so heavy right now. For those of you that know me, know that my heart is so tender for animals. I feel for all of them! I must be the zoo keeper or something in the next life! I LOVE animals and I am so grateful I was blessed with such a tender heart towards them. They always bring me such joy and happiness!

Friday I had my kidney panel done. I dread it. I hate it. I hate waiting for results. I have an amazing doctor who takes amazing care of me and that makes a big difference. My arm looks horrible, but I am sure it will be back to it's chunky, rosy self in no time:)

It has just felt like the whole world has been falling down and I am ready for some good news! Know I love you all!!!

Artichoke Spinach Dip

This is one of my all time favorites now! I went and played cards with a friend Saturday night who is an amazing chef and she made me some of this dip and I can't stop ranting about it! It is soooo delicious! I made it last night and it is already half gone! I highly recommend!!!! I have to give the credit to Leigh Anne though from Your Home Based Mom..Brilliant woman!!! Thanks Leigh Anne & Lori:)



Artichoke and Spinach Dip

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1/4 C mayonnaise
1/4 C grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 C grated Romano cheese
1 clove garlic, peeled and minced
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp garlic salt
salt and pepper to taste
1 (14 ounce) can or jar artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
1/2 C frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained or 2 handfuls of fresh baby spinach, chopped
1/4 C shredded mozzarella cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a small baking dish.

In a medium bowl, mix together cream cheese, mayonnaise, Parmesan cheese, Romano cheese, garlic, basil, garlic salt, salt and pepper. Gently stir in artichoke hearts and spinach.
Transfer the mixture to the prepared baking dish. Top with mozzarella cheese. Bake in the preheated oven 25 minutes, until bubbly and lightly browned.

Chocolate Chip Oreo Cookie Sandwich

Chocolate Chip Oreo Cookie Sandwich

2 sticks softened butter

3/4 Cup packed light brown sugar

1 Cup granulated sugar

2 large eggs

1 Tablespoon pure vanilla

3 1/2 Cups all purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

10 oz bag chocolate chips

1 bag Oreo Cookies, I used the double stuff :)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a stand or electric mixer cream butter and sugars until well combined. Add in eggs and vanilla until well combined.

2. In a separate bowl mix the flour, salt and baking soda. Slowly add to wet ingredients along with chocolate chips until just combined. Using a cookie scoop take one scoop of cookie dough and place on top of an Oreo Cookie. Take another scoop of dough and place on bottom of Oreo Cookie. Seal edges together by pressing and cupping in hand until Oreo Cookie is enclosed with dough. Place onto a parchment or silpat lined baking sheet and bake cookies 9-13 minutes or until cookies are baked to your liking. Let cool for 5 minutes before transferring to cooling rack. Serve with a tall glass of milk, enjoy!

Makes about 2 dozen VERY LARGE Cookies :)

Hates Goodbye's

My heart is so full tonight. My cute parents are moving to St. George tomorrow for 3 months and it sure has hit me hard. I am so close to my Mom. We talk everyday and I see her every week. We have always gone to their house ever Sunday for family dinner...this will be the longest I have ever been away from my parents and it is killing me. I know St. George isn't that far but the thought of not having my Mom 30 minutes away is devastating. However, the move will be good for them. It is a little warmer there so the weather will be better on my Dad's arthritis and they will be able to get away and ride bikes and do things they have wanted to do for awhile, so I am excited for them.

Thursday night I played games with Mark and a bunch of friends and then I slept over and Mark and I stayed up talking until almost 6 am. We talked about growing up and it was funny that we both could remember the same things! I sure love my brother, he had me in tears talking about how scared he was when I died and I was soo touched. I miss the good old days with Mark!

Christmas was fabulous. Gracie got her lump of coal she was so excited for and some pillow pets, games, clothes, a leapster, a cookie/baking set, etc... Santa was VERY good to her and so were her relatives! Thank you everyone!

Millie and Daisy are healing so well from their surgeries. Dusty and Sadie and Peanut are also doing great!

New Years Eve is always a blast. We have my little brother and a bunch of friends over and play games and eat ourselves sick. This year I made bacon wrapped water chestnuts that turned out fabulous! Big hit! And everyone's favorite, the bacon wrapped little smokies (heart attack on a stick), spinach dip, sweet and sour meatballs, queso, veggie plates, cheese and crackers, chex mix...we also had tons of pizza's and breadsticks....I am telling you...I have managed to gain 10 pounds in about 2 weeks, so it is now time to crack the whip and attempt to lift this body onto that diet wagon! I hope 2011 is AMAZING & memorable for everyone!