Mother's Day

Mother's Day for me for so many years was such a horrible day. Not because I have the most AMAZING Mom on the planet and I love her more than anything, it was the fact that Luke and I had been married a few years and I was so baby hungry, all of my friends were having babies and I couldn't have one. Mother's Day just became this HUGE reminder that I wasn't a mother and never would be. In church on Mother's Day they would pass out flowers to all of the mother's and of course I was ALWAYS over looked since I wasn't a mother. Year's passed and each year got harder and harder..so many friends, everyone getting pregnant and still, because of diabetes and my health, I was told to never get pregnant. Luke and I tried to adopt for so many years with no luck until we thought we were getting a brand new little girl from Canada, but at the last minute that fell through which was heart wrenching. After 9 years of this, I decided I was going to do whatever it took to be a mother. I wanted a baby that bad, so to make a long story short..my miracle was born on July 22, 2007. And for the first time, I finally got a flower the following year in church. Amazing how good that one small flower can make someone feel...

Gracie sure does test my patience sometimes, but it is amazing how fast you can fall in love with something so small and so precious. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I fell in love with that little peanut growing inside of me. And from the moment I laid eyes on her, I was just smitten! Such a beautiful, perfect little sweetheart and she was all mine, finally making me a Mommy! I spend so much time staring at her. She truly is my life. I have to keep pinching myself because it all feels like a dream I am going to wake up from. How in the world did I get so lucky? I knew from the second I had her, that she would be my last seeing how I wouldn't make it through another pregnancy, so each time I would put away the 3 month clothes, the 6 month clothes, I felt like a part of me died...I wanted so badly to have one more, just so she would have a sibling..and in case anything ever happened to Luke and I, that she wouldn't be alone, but I still have to focus on the fact that we were blessed with her!!! I wish I could have seen a 2nd child roll over, crawl, walk..but I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father for blessing my life with the most amazing little girl! Each day it seems like she is learning something new and each day I fall more in love with that little Gracie bug. And now..for Mother's Day...I can't think of anything greater than the blessing of being a Mom:) I love you Gracie!!!