Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Millie

My cute, sweet, beautiful Millie passed away last Tuesday. We found out about two weeks ago she had a pinched nerve and started her on some meds that really helped for a few days and then we noticed her back legs weren't working so well, within a matter of days Millie could no longer walk and had stopped eating for the most part. I fed her eggs everyday which she ate but the last two days of her life she didn't eat anything. She had lost so much weight and was starting to pee blood. Luke and I decided it was best if we put her down. It broke my heart. I met Luke at the vet last Tuesday afternoon and when I walked in the lobby and saw Millie sitting by Luke, I still was questioning if we were making the right decision. When they picked Millie up to carry her back to start her IV, blood leaked out everywhere..I was shocked, but I also knew at that moment we were making the right decision. I have always known when the time came, I would be there for my babies, as painful as it might be to witness, the least thing I could do was be there for them when they needed me most. They led Luke and I to a room and brought Millie in with an IV in her little arm. They laid her on the counter in front of us and we had a few minutes to just hold her and love her. I wrapped my arms around her and told her how much I loved her and that we were going to be together forever. Dr. Hillegas came in and asked if we were sure this was what we wanted to do and I started crying and said I didn't know..she felt Millie's back leg and said the one leg had lost all sensation and she would never walk again and she felt we were making the right decision. I held onto Millie so tight and looked the other way while she put Millie to sleep. Millie was panting one minute and within seconds, she stopped panting and took her last breath and she was gone with a matter of about 5 seconds. They left Luke and I alone with Millie for a little while and we hugged each other. I truly felt a sense of peace after, but so sad and heartbroken without Millie. We took her home and buried her and when I brought her collar in the house, Daisy and Sadie sniffed it and Daisy cried all night. Broke my heart. I miss her kisses so much. I miss coming home from work everyday and having her greet me at the door. We have now lost two dogs in two months and I am ready for a break! I need Sadie and Daisy to stay as healthy as they can! Sadie's tumor is growing so fast and all we can do is enjoy the time we do have with her and focus on the fact that we will be together again someday! I had a dear friend tell me..don't think of it as putting Millie down..you sent her up to a place most of us wish we could be!! I loved that!

I have amazing friends and I am truly blessed. The friends whom I thought I was closest to, sadly became more distant. I don't understand if they didn't know what to say..but silence hurts more than anything. The friends whom I didn't think would say much came to my side instantly. I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers at work from some friends. I am just so blessed. I have a darling friend who had Luke, Gracie and I come over with some friends and have a fun pizza/game night Saturday night to get our minds off of life and it was a blast and very much needed! I just can't express how grateful I am for all of the countless blessing I am continued to be blessed with on a daily basis.

Thanksgiving was nice. Went to my parents and Matt and the kids came up and it was fun to see everyone and play games. My heart just wasn't in it this year due to Millie..but it was great to be surrounded by those I love. I hope that everyone was able to reflect on all of the wonderful things in their lives they are so thankful for. I know I have to many to list! I love you all!

6 comments:

Tara said...

I am so sorry Lisa. I know how important and special these members of your family are. I hope it doesn't ruin your holiday spirit. Hang in there. Just know they are watching down on you.

NIC said...

My heart aches for you. I know how hard it was losing only 1 I can't imagine losing two of your kids in asto many months. I totally understand the second guessing at the vet's office I went through that with Harley. Xoxo

Our Family said...

I'm so sorry for your lose. I was so sad to see the title because I was afraid she wasn't doing well. My heart goes out to you and your family!

Suz said...

I am truly sorry, I know how much you love those pups! I am amazed at how strong of a woman you are! So sweet of you to be there with Millie and I know that you made the right decision! I am also glad to know that you have such great friends who take care of you! That is the best thing in the world! Love you!!

LaNe aNd GiNa said...

Lisa, you are so strong, my dear. Your words are beautiful, a total reflection of you and the beautiful person you are. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you!! And those two sweet babies in heaven now....

ccondos said...

I haven't read your blog for a long time. I am so sorry to hear about your poor puppies :( it is heart breaking to loose your best friends. Maggie has been gone for almost 3 years now and I still look for her.... They are part of our hearts just like any family member. I am in tears reading this. Hang in there my friend. It will get easier. Love you and your family.
Corinne