Wednesday, March 10, 2010

RIP Corey...

I regret to inform you that my cute Corey Haim passed away this morning from prescription drugs at the age of 38. It just breaks my heart! He is by far one of my favorite actors from the 80s! It seems to me like everyone in Hollywood is dropping off now! Maybe that is just a sign that I am getting older but 38 is way to young to go!!! He did have an amazing life, at least in the 80's! I bet that cute Corey Feldman will miss him greatly.

Yesterday I went to my OB/GYN appt and had the opportunity to talk to him about my feelings on having one more baby. Those of you who know me know I went through hell and back to get Miss Gracie here, but sooo worth it. It is just so hard to see everyone my age having babies and I can't be one of them! We have tried the adoption route and it just didn't happen for us! Well, the doc told me I actually have a 40% chance of making it through another pregnancy, that is the good news. The bad news is what it will do to my body if I live through the pregnancy. The baby would have to be delivered months early and I would have to have steroid injections all the time to get the baby to grow quicker. It will pretty much do a number on me where I could be on dialysis and in renal failure at a much younger age so he asked me if it was worth bringing another baby in this world to not be here to take care of it...There is always that small, teeny tiny chance everything would be ok, but going off of my history, that won't happen. So, with much regret and sadness, I am going to have to get rid of that thought in the back of my head that we could possibly have one more. I would much rather be here with my cute Gracie so I can raise her and see her go through school and date, graduate, get married... I hate the fact that she will be an only child and if anything were to happen to Luke and I she would have no one, but I need to just focus on the good stuff. Life is to short not to right??? Having just Gracie means she will be spoiled rotten and I am just fine with that:) I have never wanted so many that I couldn't afford them or give each one of them the attention they deserve each and every day, but just one for her to have someone. I grew up with several friends that were only children and they all seem happy:)

I know right after I had Gracie I KNEW I would never think of having another one with what had happened, but I think you forget a lot of that stuff over the years. I was the only girl yesterday at the doctor that wasn't pregnant and it just is so hard, but I do know and my doctor convinced me that Gracie truly is a miracle and so am I to be here! Thank you Dr. Kirkman! He truly is the best!!!

Tonight Luke and I are hoping to finally make it to the stake president for the 2nd part of getting our temple recommends! Not that we make it to the temple often, but I hate knowing I don't have a recommend in case something were to happen and I needed to be there!! I hope everyone has a fabulous day and is able to get out and enjoy this beautiful weather! It is daylight savings Sunday so that means it will be even lighter later! Wahoo!!

4 comments:

LaNe aNd GiNa said...

Oh sweetie...my heart aches for you. You are one tough cookie and I commend you on your strength. You are so beautiful and Gracie is so lucky to have you for her mommy!! The next time you are at the doctor swing over to Treehouse and visit me!! I miss you!!

Suz said...

I know it is hard now, but one day you will get to have more babies! And Miss Gracie will be fine, she will have lots of friends and she wouldn't be all alone if something happened to you guys! You are a beautiful family and I am sorry that you are going through this! We love you and wish I was there to help you and to have the cousins together! Tell Luke and Gracie we love them, and I am glad you are looking on the bright side, that is hard to do!

Gabrielle said...

Loves. I know its hard. I am so sorry. Enjoy that little sweetness... enjoy all of it. You will soon find your self at Freshman orientation- and realize- CRAP- my kid is going to high school! (yes- it sucked!)

The Huffies said...

you are wonderful...gracie and luke are lucky to have you. I've loved your encouraging comments through this whole thing - you are just so sweet and I love ya!